You know how sometimes the goin' gets tough?

Well, that pretty much describes my week, or last few weeks, I suppose. 

It all started out with a dreaded feeling of insufficiency in regards to my purpose of life. I am currently a stay at home mom of two amazing boys. I am actively involved in my church and community and I have a lot to be thankful for. In spite of all this, I've felt lacking. Maybe it's because schools are starting and I'm not teaching, or maybe it's because people are changing and I just feel like I'm watching from the side lines but I decided about a month ago that I'd audition for a singing group that has a fairly workable schedule for a mom like me and would somewhat keep me in the musical loop of people within my county. The auditions were submitted digitally and to be honest, after contacting them (3 weeks after the auditions had technically closed but the page was still accepting them) I learned that I had not made the group. Crappy, huh? I have a masters degree in music... yeah, my feelings were really hurt, but after putting some thought into it, I decided that they probably didn't even listen to my audition. I mean, I'm a soprano and lets be honest: the world has no lack of them. More than likely the audition submissions were a technicality and there were no soprano slots open. It still hurt my feelings. :-\

THEN, while I was feeling sorry for myself, I started searching for other opportunities to audition for. I found one in Orlando, got my head shots together with my resume and hopped in the car to drive to the location.

Thanks to Josh for taking my head shots hours before my audition! Isn't he amazing?! I look nothing like this :-)

On the way to Orlando, (actually, I had just gotten Gas in my town and was starting to drive towards the interstate) I scratched another car's bumper... Yikes! Maybe I should have taken it as a sign to just stay at home, but No! I went to the audition anyways, made some stupid joke to the accompanist (that was apparently taken seriously) and bombed my audition. 

OK, OK. So I'm not meant to sing at this time in my life. Reasonable, and I can take a hint, so lets do something else. GARDENING!!! Thanks to my loving husband I've got almost everything for a raised garden. So what should I plant? Today I went to home depot to get some expert advice. Their advice?? Wait until October to plant anything new. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! I should just call these my FAIL weeks. 

It wasn't until tonight during a conversation with my brother that I realized what my true problem is. My life can currently be described as: Wife, Mother, Christian, Baker, Daughter, Sister, Giver... none of these are bad words or even words that I would not want to be described as. However, before I was a mother, the word Musician would have been among that mix. I loved being a musician and I miss performing and sharing my love through teaching. I still sing to my children, but that's not the same. Many of the people that I spend time with now don't even know that I sing! And even fewer know that I play the harp. Before I met Josh, that was how I defined myself! And now, it's not. I have a much better role. One I would never trade for anything. I am so blessed to be a mother and my sweet boys show me that everyday, but how can I bring a little of my "before" life back? I'm not too sure, but I'm going to give  it a try. 

Sweet little ninja turtle

My two little loves. Sometime James loves more than Benjamin would like...

Why can't I get this picture to rotate??

So here is to better, more purpose filled weeks, months and years to come.

Day 1- Stuffed Chicken with steamed Kale and cheesy mashed potatoes

So far, a success!

The menu for last night was the title of this post. The chicken was smashed to 1/4 in thickness with my cast iron skillet (who needs a hammer!), coated on one side with egg to make it sticky and then with bread crumbs. I then mashed a healthy tablespoon of goat cheese to 2tbs diced spring onions and a little salt of pepper, formed it into a small log and rolled the un-breaded side of the chicken around it. The sauce I made for the chicken to bake in consisted of 5tbs butter, a splash of white wine (probably no more then 1/4cup) 1 can of diced artichoke hearts, 3tbs of spring onions, half & half, salt and pepper. I heated the butter and wine to a simmer, let it cook out for a few minutes, then added the artichokes, spring onions, salt and pepper and then, as an afterthought, I added a tablespoon of half & half. I wanted to slightly thicken the sauce and it did just the trick!

For the potatoes, I used 7 small red, peeled (I HATE peeling potatoes but this time I had to) half & half, 1tbs butter, 1tbs minced garlic and a handful of cheddar.

I steamed the Kale.

Would I make this again?

Sure, but with a few adjustments. As always, my serving portion was WAY to large...

I needed the mashed potatoes for tonight's dinner but I should have used a smaller chicken breast with less filling. It was very very rich so it would have been good to have some crusty bread to go along with the meal. The kale... I just don't enjoy it! Joshua loves it for its anti-inflammatory benefits so I get it for him, and usually he eats it every night! There's probably 4 night worth of kale left and I really don't want it to go to waste. This might be the week that I learn to love it.

THIS MORNING!

I was very proud of myself. I really wanted to grab something on the go but as my budget is $25 I don't want it depleted on silly things like fast food. So to the fridge I went! A Smoothie with OJ, Carrots, Celery, Pineapple and Strawberries? Yes Please! My sister-in-law Lauren gives her picky eater son Sawyer smoothies hiding good-for-you things, so why not I? Oh yes, because I am usually too busy and rushed to make one. Well today, I was late because of my smoothie skills, and I couldn't feel better about it!

Who needs to be on time anyway?

$25 challenge-Meals for One

This all started last night. Joshua and I got home from Tampa around 5:30pm and we were starving. Josh ate a sandwich to tie him over until dinner was ready and I started looking around, suggesting to my starving husband things that could be made. Because we'd been away all weekend, there was no meat readily available and defrosting anything would have taken too long (according to Josh), So we decided on Hawaiian pizza (Joshua's Favorite).

The ingredients that I had were:

• loaf of Pillsbury French bread in a tube
• 28oz. can of crushed tomatoes
• dried oregano
• lots of fresh basil and thyme
• shredded cheddar
• ham
• pineapple

I heated and combined the tomatoes and herbs with a little salt and pepper, unrolled the French bread onto a pizza stone forming it to be round with a crust and drizzled a little EVOO on it. spooned the sauce to the crust and topped it with the cheese, ham, pineapple and some dried oregano. I placed it in my 400 degree oven and voila, in about 15 minutes, we had a pizza.

Pretty simple, right?! The husband loved it and it got me thinking...

Joshua will be in Africa for the next 11 days and because we just spent a small fortune at a restaurant this past Saturday (Texas De Brazil... Delicious), why not do the frugal thing and cook out of my pantry this week? Our typical grocery bill is usually within a few dollars of $100, so I'm going to budget myself $25 for the next 11 days for food. A challenge? For me, Yes!

To start off this personal challenge, let me list what I currently have in my refrigerator and pantry:

• Half gallon of OJ and Milk
• 3/4lb of Sliced ham for sandwiches
• a little prosciutto
• provolone cheese
• goat cheese
• cheddar
• sour cream
• Lots of butter
• half & half
• eggs
• tons of Carrots
• celery hearts
• fresh kale
• Spring onions
• bell, sweet, cayenne, and jalapeño peppers (from my garden)
• Garlic
• 14 oz of crushed tomatoes
• small can of crushed pineapple
• enormous amounts of sweet onions (so many that I'm hoping to give them away to friends... anyone want them??)
• 5lbs of small red potatoes
• Kamaboko (Josh is allergic to crab meat...)
• Wantons
• 1lb of ground italian sausage and lean ground beef
• lots of frozed chicken breasts
• 1 sirloin steak
• Frozen peaches, blackberries, mango's, and strawberries

• 2 can cans of artichoke hearts
• lg cans of corn, green beans (French cut style)
• 4 cans enchilada sauce
• tomato paste
• Crushed tomatoes
• whole tomatoes
• salsa
• beef and chicken stock
• cooking wine
• various seasoning packets
• Many many herbs, dried and fresh from the garden
• Oatmeal
• chocolate chips
• flour
• sugar
• vanilla
• cocoa powder
• other various backing supplies
• bread crumbs

(I'm sure I missing a ton, but I'm at school right now and can't check to be sure. So is life...)

Ok, so I know that the above seems like a lot but who wants to cook with things that they already have? I personally LOVE scouring the internet for new recipe ideas, making a list of what I need and going shopping for everything, picking up random ingredients that I might need along the way only to put everything away, get too busy to cook what I planned, forget what I got and repeat the process all over again week by week. Pathetic, I know, so bear with me as I challenge myself to be creative with what I already have.

For tonight, I'm thinking stuffed chicken with goat cheese and spring onions coated with bread crumbs and baked in a white wine, butter and artichoke sauce with a side of steamed Kale and mashed potatoes. Could be amazing, could be terrible. I already have everything for meal, so cost will be $0. I will of course have leftover potatoes so I might try to make Pierogies which I've never made before, so I will use this recipe and make a salad as a side. My friend Tristin introduced me to Pierogies a while ago and boy, were they delicious! I can only hope that the linked recipe is as good as her's was. I'm sure that I'll have leftovers from both of these meals, so who knows what I'll make next!

Also, this week I plan to make a bunch of cookies and other various treats for my brother-in-law Jared who is in the army, bake bread, and do whatever else I can to keep busy while Joshua is gone. I know, I'm pathetic :-)

Here's to dinner!

Chicken Rice soup

Ingredients:

• Lots of chopped Celery and Carrots
• 2 Large Leeks
• 1 pint of sliced mushrooms
• A splash of white wine
• Leftover roasted chicken bits
• Chicken broth (I used Tristin's recipe found here)

Heat up you're soup pot with a few drizzles of Olive oil to medium high and throw in the celery, carrots, leeks and mushrooms. Cover and let cook, stirring occasionally for about 10 minutes. This allows the steam to soften the carrots and celery.

Add the White wine and let it cook uncovered for 5 more minutes.

Throw in the broth and chicken and cover the simmering soup for 30 more minutes stirring occasionally.

Meanwhile, cook 1 1/2 cups of dry rice in 2 1/2 cups of water. A rice cooker works perfectly for this. You want a sticky rice, not fluffy so cook accordingly. :0)

The soup should cook a total of 45 minutes. Believe it! Josh is terribly sick today, so this was made for him.

Scoop in the rice to the bowl,

then add the broth over the top.

A delicious way to feel better in no time!

maybe...

It is a very plain soup so feel free to add whatever spices or seasonings you'd like. Josh needed it to be very plain so that's why I made it the way I did.

This is my dog blue...

Today he went to the vet for a yearly check-up, only we have not been taking him every year. He's been such a healthy dog that we didn't think he needed it. But because he's out of date with his rabies shots, and I would like to bring him to the dog park during the summer, I felt that now was as good of a time as any to get this over with.

Sweet Blue, he had no idea...

In other news, the Dickey household has been eating a lot of leftovers lately! There was SO much soup from last week, that we've just been eating it all up. Yum

After we've gone though the leftovers, I intend on having the following for our dinners:

• Tonight: Panini's and a spinach salad
• Wednesday: Small roast-It'll be a long day at school and a short amount of time between getting home and leaving for church, so this dish will be super simple and good for tomorrow
• Thursday: Pasta, done my way.
• Friday: Homemade Hawaiian pizza, Joshua's favorite
• Saturday: Tacos
• Sunday: Roasted Chicken

Calzone

OK, I know it seems like I'm going crazy posting on here twice today, but as mentioned earlier, I am at parent teacher conference night. NO ONE ever want's to see me. I'm the music teacher and most everyone will get an A in my class, so I'll spend the 2.5 hours that I have to be here alone and bored. So sad.

Because I am so incredibly bored right now, I thought I'd just share my way of calzone making. I'll post pictures tomorrow when I actually make it. I can't believe I've become so lame!

Here's what I use:

1 Pillsbury Crusty French Loaf

Ham

Spinach

green/red Peppers

onions

lots of cheese

what ever fresh herbs you have handy

Salt and Pepper and some Olive Oil

And here's what I do:

Unroll the Pillsbury loaf onto whatever you're baking it on. (I'm using my pizza stone) It should make a sort of square so visualize a diagonal line across it and start loading up one half with all of your toppings. Once you're loaded, fold the other side of the square over and make a triangle, covering and sealing in all of your toppings. Make a few small slices in the dough so that it can breath and drizzle Olive oil over the top of the clazone. Bake @ 400 for about 25 minutes. Check it every so often to make sure the dough isn't getting too dark. If necessary, cover with foil.

Meanwhile, the sauce.

You'll need

1 Onion chopped

1 28oz can of crushed tomatoes

3 TBS garlic

2 TBS crushed red peppers

Thyme

Salt and Pepper

Heat a skillet to medium and sautee the onion until clear with a drizzle of olive oil. Dump in the tomatoes and the rest of the ingredients and let it sit covered on low. Watch it and stir occasionally.

Thats It! Cut it in two and eat it on the couch while watching a redbox. At least that's what I plan on doing! :)

Parent Teacher Conference night

Joshua will feast on the leftovers of the week while I stay at school for parent teacher conferences.

Great...